
How come no one has invented the waterproof computer yet? Because I really need a waterproof computer. Not because I want to check my email from the bottom of the pool. Nor do I want to video chat out in the rain or blog from the depths of the ocean. I just want to be able to write in the shower.
I can compose the most amazing compositions in the shower. Every day as I shampoo my hair, I am mentally drafting a novel. This blog post was conceived as I shaved my legs. And the prose in my shower is always beautiful, impeccable, intriguing…and it is always lost in translation when I try to re-create it once dried and dressed.
I am not a draft writer. Although I will (occasionally) proofread my work after writing, I rarely do any actual editing. What comes of me first is often what comes out of me best. So when I develop these earth-shattering pieces of literature while soaping up my loofah, I’m actually wasting my best work. And that sucks.
So all you technically-minded engineer types out there, this is your mission: invent for me a shower computer. And I will write for you the Great American Novel. Or at least a more comprehensible blog post.
Of course, it’s possible that I’m deluding myself; that what sounds great in my head would never translate properly into the keyboard, no matter how quickly I got it down. Rather like the story dreams I have where everyone is just a character, and I wake up realizing that I have just come up with the best idea for a book…only to realize ten minutes later that what so entertained me in my sleep actually has no real plot line and nothing of interest for anyone who is actually awake.
But I prefer to believe that the only thing stopping me from expressing my true inner genius is the gross oversight of computer manufacturers in not developing this desperately needed technology.
I can compose the most amazing compositions in the shower. Every day as I shampoo my hair, I am mentally drafting a novel. This blog post was conceived as I shaved my legs. And the prose in my shower is always beautiful, impeccable, intriguing…and it is always lost in translation when I try to re-create it once dried and dressed.
I am not a draft writer. Although I will (occasionally) proofread my work after writing, I rarely do any actual editing. What comes of me first is often what comes out of me best. So when I develop these earth-shattering pieces of literature while soaping up my loofah, I’m actually wasting my best work. And that sucks.
So all you technically-minded engineer types out there, this is your mission: invent for me a shower computer. And I will write for you the Great American Novel. Or at least a more comprehensible blog post.
Of course, it’s possible that I’m deluding myself; that what sounds great in my head would never translate properly into the keyboard, no matter how quickly I got it down. Rather like the story dreams I have where everyone is just a character, and I wake up realizing that I have just come up with the best idea for a book…only to realize ten minutes later that what so entertained me in my sleep actually has no real plot line and nothing of interest for anyone who is actually awake.
But I prefer to believe that the only thing stopping me from expressing my true inner genius is the gross oversight of computer manufacturers in not developing this desperately needed technology.

I, too, can write amazing things while in the shower (at least I think I do.) I thought it was only me - I am always so disappointed with my later recreations of emails that were perfectly drafted while showering!
ReplyDelete